Her Rules Radio

There are many challenges to being a creative person. I’ve experienced many of those challenges, and we’ve discussed many of them here on the show. Today’s show will inspire us to make it through a crisis situation to thrive in your craft. In addition, we’ll be taking a sabbatical of sorts after today’s show, but Her Rules Radio will be back soon with more interesting guests and perspectives.

Christine Dixon is an actress whom I met on Instagram. Since then, we’ve had many email and video conversations, and I knew that her story was one that my listeners needed to hear. Her experiences bring up many themes around the obstacles that creative thinkers face in putting their work and ideas out into the world. Chris has been performing her one-woman show, Harriet Tubman, for years. She has incredible stories about the challenges she’s overcome to deliver this performance. It’s a combination of education and entertainment that brings empowerment to each audience. Chris shares with us how she faced the fear of failure and rejection and learned to adapt to tough situations. She demonstrates how to think positively and proactively while reaching out for help when it’s needed. She shares how we can keep moving forward, so we live with no regrets. I hope you’re inspired to help support Chris and her amazing work. Her story is a beautiful ribbon as we wrap up the package that is this season of Her Rules Radio.

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/255

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_-_Christine_Dixon.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:32pm EDT

This show is all about living life by your own rules. One of the challenging areas in which we need to break the rules is in setting boundaries. It’s an ongoing battle for many people--and for most women. Let’s dive into this topic and learn more!

Nancy Levin has written a new book, Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free, and she’s busted a lot of myths around setting boundaries. We’re discussing the nitty-gritty of boundary setting, and Nancy is sharing truth bombs to revolutionize your life and your relationships.

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/254.

 

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_-_Nancy_Levin_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Creativity, Compassion, Courage...

The 3 C's we need now.

 

We need to be creative to solve big, new problems we're all facing…

 

...and we need to be creative to heal, grow into, and discover our best selves.

 

We need compassion for each other if we're going to come together and survive as a species…

 

... and we need compassion for ourselves so we can embrace our failures, failings, and fuck-ups, and continue to grow and achieve.

 

We need COURAGE to change habits that lead to the healing we want, the growth we desire, the relationships we dream of…

 

... and we need COURAGE to dismantle the unjust systems we live in, speak uncomfortable truths, and stand up for what we believe in.

 

Becoming an Artist has required all 3 of these - some days all at the same time.

STAYING an Entrepreneur has required all of these… every day.

 

Today, I’m excited to invite you to the Creatrix Circle 2020, a 28-day group experience with:

 

  • The support and accountability you need
  • The inspiration you desire
  • The community and coaching you’ll love…

 

See the info here, and sign up!

http://bit.ly/Create28

Direct download: creativity_courage_compassion.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 11:23am EDT

#1 - 9 to 5: 1980, Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda Dolly Parton 

(take out the boss, become the boss, change the system from the inside)

  1. Don’t assume the gorgeous girl is a slut, no matter what the guys are saying about her
  2. If you want to tell a story, you may have to write it yourself… Jane Fonda came up with the idea, then she asked Dolly to come on and Dolly wrote that iconic song for the movie - In fact, Dolly would only be IN the movie if she could write the thems song! (which was SUPER smart - she keeps the IP/Song Writing credits, she owns the songs, the profits, forever.)

 

#2 - Working Girl: 1988 Melanie Grifith, Harrison Ford, Sigornie Weaver, dress for the job you want, go for the job you’re not “qualified” for, creative thinking (crashes the wedding to pitch her idea to the father of the bride) - Shipping Co President/painting

  1. If you want to grow, find someone to copy (a mentor)
  2.  Just do you - Tess is defined by her unflinching independence throughout Working Girl. "I'm not going to spend the rest of my life working my ass off and getting nowhere just because I followed rules that I had nothing to do with setting up,” she says, marking her refusal to bend to societal gender norms. 

 

#3 - Baby Boom - leave corporate, follow your dream, leave everything behind, ditch the lame partner holding you back, create your own business, work on your own terms

  1. Sometimes it’s about taking a leap of faith. Quitting a good job with a high salary to move to the country seems like the worst idea ever to some, but “with great risk comes great reward.” (J.C. didn’t say that. Thomas Jefferson did. But J.C. could have.)
  2. You have to thrive where you’re planted, instead of whining about the garden. Sure, J.C. made a mistake in purchasing a lemon of a house. But, she makes it past the frozen well and leaky roof, and she leverages her apple orchard into a successful business to support her child.
  3. Motherhood is hard. It’s no picnic. And you can lose yourself a little, but that doesn’t mean you’re lost forever. It just means you have to adapt and figure out who you are now. And if you go from “Tiger Lady” to country mama and grassroots entrepreneur, that’s more than OK. It’s freaking awesome.

 

#4: Dirty Dancing - stand up for what you believe in, learn to dance, fall in love with the “wrong guy not good on paper, who is actually a good guy, hard worker, moral, etc.

  1. Have the confidence to be yourself - ‘Nobody puts Baby in the corner,’ is by far the most famous quote to make it out of Dirty Dancing, and for a very good reason. Dance lessons aside, Johnny has the knack of bringing the best out of Baby, whether she’s risking it all to ask her dad for help or getting up on the stage in front of hundreds.
  2. Trust your instincts - Robbie, the medical student, might appear to be the best catch in Kellerman’s, but it's Johnny, Penny and Billy who turn out to be the good guys. As we all know, Robbie gets Penny pregnant and leaves Baby’s father to unknowingly come to the rescue. 'Now, you’ll hurt me if you don’t trust me, all right?' Johnny nails it.
  3. Rules are made to be broken - Sometimes the rules are made to be broken, as demonstrated by Johnny at the end, who despite being fired, returns to Kellerman’s to do the final dance, including that illicit lift.

 

#5 - Breakfast Club: talk about the dark stuff with people, find weirdos who believe in something, listen to each other - you have more in common than you may think on the surface

  1. John Hughes 1985 classic, The Breakfast Club made stars of Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald and Emilio Estevez and has become beloved by people all over the world. The story of five kids trapped in Saturday detention is widely regarded as one of the greatest coming of age stories of all time and has taught lessons that are relevant to people of all ages.
  2. To ask the important questions in life.
  3. To be proud of your talents.
  4. No one's home life is perfect.
  5. Never underestimate the power of a dance break.
  6. Growing up sucks.
  7. People aren't always what they seem.
  8. Sometimes breaking the rules has its rewards.
  9. To step out of your comfort zone every once in a while.
  10. Everyone has feelings.
  11. Opposites attract.
  12. Sometimes you end up exactly where you need to be...even if it's Saturday detention

 

#6 - Pretty In Pink: 

  1. Pretty In Pink is a story of class, humor, and love.
  2. Andie, played by Molly Ringwald, isn’t your typical high school girl. She’s quirky, independent and has her own unique sense of style, one not dictated by name brand clothes. She made the most of what she had.
  3. It resonates with me I think because I relate to feeling like the “poor girl” too, kind of being her actually. A lot of the people I spent time around in junior high and high school were upper middle class I remember, or middle class-plus. Some weren’t, but most were. So I found a character I could relate to who didn’t wear a mask when I did.
  4. like Andie, I grew up in a single parent home, too, from the age of about 11-18. Even though I saw my dad regularly, my mom like Andie’s dad had some mental health issues and was a traumatized human. I didn’t understand it until years later, but I, like Andie, funneled my energies into my job to save money for college (and vintage clothes!), and to be out of the house, which was a depressing place to be.
  5. Accept you’re different and unique: Andie, when sent to the principal’s office for teasing one of the “Richie” girls in gym, says something that is so poignant to me that puts my experience into perspective. The principal tells Andie, who doesn’t quite fit with her status and quirky personal style, that if she keeps putting out signals that she doesn’t want to belong, people will make sure that she doesn’t. To which she responds, “That’s a beautiful theory.”be the weird one, own your own style, work hard, be what you want, no matter what box others put you in, be bizarre and unexpected
  6. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF:  I admire Andie’s boldness in dealing with bullying and awful situations. She kept her head high and stood her ground. I try to be like this in my own life, to speak boldly and unapologetically despite social pressures. 
  7. BE A CREATIVE ALCHEMIST: I always loved Andie’s personal style. She had a way of dressing that was cool and unique. She wore short hair in endless ways. Hats, stockings, pearls ...So cool. Y Andie TOOK APART, AND REWORKED the dress to her liking for a fabulous end product. Andie’s ingenuity shows me that I am enough and that I have more than I might think to my disposal in my life. Her creativity gives me tons of inspiration and courage.

 

#7 - Dead Poets Society:

  1.  In watching the movie, I was struck by the impact one person can have on the lives of others. Through Keating’s encouragement and leadership, the boys take risks, find their passions, and come to understand the importance of independent thinking. He was able to inspire his students to attempt and accomplish things they hadn’t even dared to dream about before.
  2. It’s not who you are but what you do that defines you. Keating conveys this message to his students because he doesn’t want them to be held back by preconceived ideas. It’s not about race, gender, age, or even experience. People are measured by what they accomplish. Keating encourages action on the part of his students. He wants them to relentlessly pursue their passions. Isn’t that what you want for the people on your team?
  3. Change the angle. Keating tells his students that when you think you have something all figured out, it’s time to look at it from a new perspective. He encourages independent thinking. He wants his students to avoid conformity. We all work for organizations that have their own culture and where there is an established way of doing things—and maybe an established way of thinking. If you really want to break through the status quo, you need to get your people thinking in new and innovative ways. You need to get them looking at things from a new perspective. Warning: In the movie, it costs Keating his job, but it leaves an impression on a group of boys and changes their lives.
  4. Carpe diem—seize the day. Keating tells his students to seize the day. It’s OK to talk and dream, but in the end, it’s action that will allow you to grab the prize. You must encourage action in your people. All of the talking, planning, and strategizing will get you nowhere unless you put them into action. I constantly talk about the employees in our company who are action-oriented. I don’t care that they tend to make more mistakes or pursue endeavors that don’t work out because they’re making something happen. You need to convince your people to seize the day. The time we waste today is gone forever.

 

Being an optimist is sometimes a revolutionary act, and sometimes the rebellion takes the form of pretending you’re more experienced than you are, leaving the partner who isn’t the right fit for you, starting a business, learning to dance, going for the competition even if you’re not exactly the “right” person for the gig

 

Find and stick with their weirdos who believe in you - and stick with and support them!

 

We’re flawed, but we CAN overcome those flaws

 

Work hard, stick with it, practice, keep showing up, get through the failures.

 

Get your free How To Write Your Fuck It List Guide: https://alexandrajamieson.com/fuck-it-list/





Category:general -- posted at: 3:18pm EDT

We know that every woman’s worst critic is . . . herself. It’s a sad but true fact. Why do we spend so much time and energy berating and judging ourselves for falling short of our perfectionist ideals? Why can’t we embrace the truth of who we were created to be and who we have become through the ups and downs of life? This might be just the interview that you need to hear today.

In this episode, we discuss some juicy topics for women. What if you took the energy you spend on self-improving and bashing your body in chasing impossible standards of perfectionism and channeled that energy into things that truly bring you alive? Join us!

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/253

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_-_Liyana_Silver_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Your thinking, clarity, and the ability to be present as a creative leader are tied to how you nourish your body with meals and snacks. A change to how and what you eat can improve how you think. Want to know more? Join us!

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/252

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_-_Dr._Uma_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Have a tough time making and keeping personal boundaries? You're not alone!

In this episode you'll learn:

  • Alex's most popular and commented upon boundary (that keeps her distraction-free)
  • The 2 questions to ask yourself and others to help you define powerful, compassionate boundaries

Pre-order your copy of Radical Alignment at www.RadicalAlignmentBook.com to master this and the All-In Method, and get your bonuses here! 

Direct download: boundaries.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 2:19pm EDT

Ever struggle with shame?

Imposter Syndrome? 

Yeah, me too. 

 

When a client experiences shame, they live in constant fear of being rejected. And they become trapped in the avoidance strategies they create to escape the pain.

However, shame left untreated grows more powerful. And it can often lead our clients into behaviors that invite even greater shame.

 

I’m going to show you the ONE thing that has been studied and shown to dissolve them BOTH - the ONLY studied method used by professional trauma therapists and researchers…

 

AND I’m going to show you how the All-In Method, the tool at the heart of our book Radical Alignment, works to dissolve BOTH.

 

HUGE new info coming to my attention:

Bessel Van Der Kolk, author of the body keeps the score, in a special course from The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine

 

The one counterintuitive technique that removes the fear of rejection from shame… it’s the same one that dissolves imposter syndrome…SHARING YOUR SHAME AND FEAR OF BEING SHAMED WITH SOMEONE SAFE, IN A NON-JUDGMENTAL SPACE.

 

Impostor syndrome is often comorbid with depression and anxiety and is associated with impaired job performance, job satisfaction, and burnout 

 

Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome, perceived fraudulence, or impostor experience) describes high-achieving individuals who, despite their objective successes, fail to internalize their accomplishments and have persistent self-doubt and fear of being exposed as a fraud or impostor.1 People with impostor syndrome struggle with accurately attributing their performance to their actual competence (i.e., they attribute successes to external factors such as luck or receiving help from others and attribute setbacks as evidence of their professional inadequacy.

 

People with impostor syndrome had fears that were significantly related to maintaining their social standing and not wanting to display imperfection to others

 

The only studied method for helping people with Imposter Syndrome is sharing your fears and concerns in a safe space.

A 1985 paper by Matthews and Clance qualitatively described their experiences in private practice caring for 41 people with impostor feelings.53 They recommended validating patients’ doubts and fears, directly addressing fears of failure, and providing group therapy since these patients often feel isolated and that they alone experience impostor feelings;

 

SO: HOW can you start to implement this in your life?

Use the All-In Method from our new book, Radical Alignment:

Intentions

Concerns

Boundaries

Dreams

 

I’ve seen it work again and again in my marriage and in parenting my son.

We now have a safe structure and habit of communicating our fears.

Order your copy of Radical Alignment and share your receipt number at RadicalAlignmentBook.com to get a bonus workshop with me and co-author/hubby Bob Gower!

 

Direct download: shame_imp_syn.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 4:31pm EDT

Need to have a talk about a tough topic? This show is for you!

Welcome back to Her Rules Radio where you come to learn how to live life by your own rules!

Today’s show is brought to you by my new book, co-authored with my incredible husband Bob Gower, Radical Alignment, how to have game-changing conversations that will change your business and your life!

 

SOOO excited to be back here with you, talking again - I took a little summer break and now we are basically back here in Season 6 (yes, coming up on our 6th anniversary of this show!)...

 

If you’re listening for the first time, or the first time in a long time, I grew up in a radio station - my mom had her own organic gardening radio show for 10 years, and every once in a while I would go on the show and do a “children’s gardening” episode with her! My older brother brendan was her sound engineer, so it was a family affair!

 

Even though we were a creative, often collaborative family, there’s one thing I didn’t really learn growing up with my fam:

 

How to have tough, emotional, or high-stakes conversations that felt safe, where everyone could be bravely vulnerable.

 

It’s part of why Bob and I finally wrote this book - RAdical Alignment.

 

You know those skills you wish you'd mastered earlier in life?

ME too.

 

I didn't learn how to gracefully talk about emotional topics until well into adulthood. Important conversations would veer wildly from where we started, and it felt so dangerous.

 

  • Maybe you grew up in a family where any past mistake could be brought up again.
  • Maybe you didn't have space to talk.
  • Maybe one person would dominate conversations so you felt like "what's the point?"
  •  



  • Emotional conversations were hard for me until my late 30s because I always felt I had to argue my points and “win” - and that never felt right to me. I would show up to conversations with people I cared about, friends or family or even business colleagues, and I would feel like I was trying to be fair and generous, and maybe the other person was out for blood!
  • The heart of our book Radical Alignment is The All In Method, which helps each person commit to sharing their intentions, concerns, boundaries and dreams about a topic. It’s not about arguing points, or “winning” - it’s a format to collect information so you don’t avoid talking about really valuable emotional stuff that sits underneath all important things. YES - emotions matter and they’re always present!
    • I grew up thinking emotions were bad, or invalid or even unfair to bring into conversations. But we are all human! EVERYONE has emotions. So our AIM helps you share them in a respectful, safe way where people are able to listen to each other better than ever before.
  • Another thing that kept me from bringing up tough topics? Things going off the rails! Has this ever happened to you? You start talking about one tough topic, and the other person brings up something completely different that happened in the past, and now you’re arguing about something completely different. 




  • In our book Radical Alignment we show you how to set up a conversation with another person or people so that you all agree in the beginning on the topic, so you can come back to it if things feel like they’re getting off course. It's such a relief! 
    • I like to think of it as a linear process for emotional topics.
    • When you have a shared map - ok, everyone we are agreeing at the start to share our intentions, then our concerns, then our boundaries, and then our dreams, and everyone gets the same amount of time, and no one will talk over each other - we are just hear to listen to each other …
    • With THAT roadmap? Totally new outcomes are possible. 



One of the tough conversations we are in as a family, and that’s me and my husband, my son, and his dad and step-mom, is what is life going to look like in September.

 

 My son is getting ready to go into high school here in New York City, although at the point I’m recording the show, I don’t know if he’ll be going to school or starting the year from his bedroom. This is a tough choice and many families are feeling really upended because we don’t know what to do, or what’s coming. 

 

So we are using our AIM to help us have conversations about the decisions that need to be made as an extended family. We use AIM to help us understand each other’s needs, worries, and to actually build empathy with each other - which in blended families with competing needs and fears isn’t always easy.

 

This is a way to have a shared vocabulary, a shared commitment to how we will communicate that is respectful, fair, and productive. It helps us stay grounded. And it helps us make space for our son to share his thoughts and feelings, and because we’ve been using it with him for a while, since he was 7 or so, he feels comfortable talking about tough topics with us - 

 

WHICH feels so huge to me.

 

A few weeks ago at the dinner table, he said, out of nowhere, “I’m really glad I’m being raised learning to care about other people’s feelings.”

 

I don’t know about you, but this feels like a huge parenting WIN!

 

SO: I offer you a challenge: to invite someone in your life to have a tough conversation in the next 48 hours.

 

Invite them with openness and kindness: don’t say “WE NEED TO TALK.”

 

No one likes to hear that.

 

How to invite someone to a tough conversation

 

Be specific but not rigid. 

Be inviting, and be clear about the topic.

See what happens!

 

Personally I’ve had a BIG breakthrough with some family members recently about topics I’ve been avoiding for decades… the conversation is ongoing but we are off to a clear, caring start.

 

I would love to hear from you how this goes! 

Pre-order Radical Alignment and get your bonuses here! https://radicalalignmentbook.com/

Direct download: HRR_rad_align_touch_convo_challenge.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 11:23am EDT

Today’s show will be the last one for a couple of months. I’m taking a summer break before the August 2020 release of my new book, Radical Alignment, co-authored with my husband, Bob Gower. Today’s show has everything to do with design--and we are going far beyond kitchen remodels. 

Angie Lee is someone I met in the last few months, and we bonded immediately. She’s an architect, partner, and Design Director of Interiors at FXCollaborative in NYC. Angie knows the importance of design and how it is a part of everything in our lives. 

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/251

Direct download: HRR_-_Angie_Lee.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Today’s guest is my gold star doctor guest and one of my favorite people. Her work is immensely helpful, and her products are beneficial in many ways. Her philosophy is that being healthy and vital involves the whole human being, and it’s not all about weight loss. If you want to learn how to take ownership of your body and your wellness, then join us today.

Dr. Anna Cabeca is “The Girlfriend Doctor.” She works with thousands of women to help them understand and improve their health and manage their hormones. Along with her life-changing products and programs, she’s written two books, The Hormone Fix and Keto-Green 16. She’s done exhaustive research to find solutions to help women reclaim their vibrancy, sexuality, health, and happiness. 

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/250

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_-_Going_Keto_Green_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

How are you coping lately? Have you been managing your stress levels? Today, we’re very happy to have Rebekah (Bex) Borucki joining us on the show. Bex’s mission in life is to make mental-health support and stress-management tools accessible to everyone. For the last ten years or so, she has been doing this in several powerfully creative (and sometimes exhausting) ways. In recent years, however, she has felt moved to pivot most of her work and become a writer of children’s books. Bex has a powerful message to share. Her inspiring story is sure to uplift and encourage you!

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/249.

 

Direct download: Rebeka_Borucki.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

As an artist, there are many constructs you have to overcome in order to create authenticity. Whether those are mental, societal, or physical, there’s an element of discovery that cannot be revealed without releasing our pre-existing perception of the world. 

Lindsay Katt is a brilliant example of what it means to be unapologetically yourself, as well as a colorful illustration of an artist. As a musician, filmmaker, painter, and master of doing things, Lindsay shares what it means to use your voice unapologetically in a way that resonates with others. She discusses how to use art to improve the lives of those around you, strategies to deal with creative blocks, and how to know when we should violate social rules. 

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/247

Direct download: HRR_256.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:06am EDT

This bonus episode is for those of us who are parenting in these times of crisis. If dealing with the increased pressures of parenting is leaving you feeling stressed, then I have an expert coach and therapist to help.

Dr. Jennifer Johnston-Jones is a dear friend who is here to help us focus on what is most helpful for parents during this time. She is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder and executive director of Roots & Wings Institute of Social and Emotional Learning for the Prevention of Childhood Trauma. Jennifer has over twenty years of experience profoundly changing families, individuals, and companies, and she’s the author of Transformational Parenting, listed as a top parenting book by USA Today. Jennifer works with teachers and parents to help change the parenting and education paradigms around childhood trauma, and she’s a sought-after keynote speaker who lives in the Los Angeles area with her husband and two children. 

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/247

Direct download: HRR_254.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

How does a mom of 3 teens, trauma coach, and therapist handle parenting during the Covid-19 crisis? 

On today's bonus interview with Cristie Ritz-King, we talk about:

  • How to create self-care boundaries with your kids when you're all home 24-7
  • How to honor your own inner turmoil while showing up as caregiver for little ones
  • What IS trauma?
  • How do we manage traumatic triggers on our physical and emotional health?
  • What to do when you blow up at your kids (because it will happen)
  • How to help our kids when we notice them acting out or withdrawing... and more.

Get more from Cristie here:

https://cristieritzking.com/

Direct download: Cristie_Ritz_King.m4a
Category: -- posted at: 2:09pm EDT

If you’re experiencing surprising feelings of grief lately, you’re not alone. It’s normal during the upside-down times to examine our lives, question our decisions, or feel like we’ve lost our dreams for the future. Remembering our values, our morals, and our spiritual compass will help us to stay moving forward.

Finding a mentor can also help us to move forward by providing clarity and connections, which are especially important right now in this time of unrest. Learn how to find a mentor and get the most out of that valuable relationship in today’s episode.

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/246

Direct download: HRR_253.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

All across our nation, we are consumed with staying healthy in a crisis, and we’re just in the beginning days of the coronavirus crisis. Even in the time of this pandemic, there are many things we can do to support our mental and physical health. We need to focus on the basics and return to the fundamentals. Think about what habits can keep you healthy and grounded. Remember that you are the author of your life, so pick up the pen and choose your path forward to tell your story. 

Michelle Aspinwall is the creator and founder of A Skin. She’s a coach, speaker, author, and skincare creator, and like me, she has Hashimoto’s. She shares how she experienced a health crisis and became her own advocate. Michelle shares how to take care of your autoimmune issues in times of overwhelm, along with the mental and spiritual work in recovering from health issues. This is an inspiring interview about helping ourselves through transitions when the world feels upside down. 

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/252

Direct download: HRR_252.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

How can we best manage our outlook and prepare for a positive future during times of global change and pandemic? 

Tap into your innate creative resilience.

What is resilience:

the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.








Post Traumatic Growth:

When you bounce back even stronger after trauma, physical illness, etc.

 

The post-traumatic growth inventory

To evaluate whether and to what extent someone has achieved growth after a trauma, psychologists look for positive responses in five areas.

1: Appreciation of life

2: Relationships with others

3: New possibilities in life

4: Personal strength

5: Spiritual change

Creativity: 

Creative Resilient people face stressful times with staunchness, making meaning of hardship and looking for lessons and improvise solutions from thin air. 

 

Creative resilience is your most important resource during times of crisis, change & transition. Transition, which is what we’re all going through right now, is the psychological process people must go through to come to terms with new situations.

We live in a world of constant change. Nature is an example of constant birth, growth, death, and renewal. Understanding the cycles of creation will help us thrive in change, rather than fear it. While transitions can be painful, they are a source of creativity, growth and transformation.

I don’t believe we can experience a transformation without undergoing a psychological transition, and if we can cultivate resilience, we can proceed  with a sense of adventure on what Joseph Campbell described as a Hero’s Journey (illustrated at the top of the page).

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself,” according to Campbell’s definition. “A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”

We are all on a hero’s journey through life, and if we want to find the boon, or the gift that lies buried in the abyss, we must be willing to embrace great difficulties that are a prerequisite to transformation.

CREATIVITY: the use of the imagination or original ideas, the ability to come up with solutions, the use of tools to create something new, or fix something old, even making it better.

 

In Victor Frankel’s book Man’s Search for Meaning, his memoir about surviving the holocaust;

Frankl said we can discover meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed to help others;(2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering.

 

How creativity helps us in times of stress:

Express yourself creatively (for many of us, creative expression is like oxygen for our souls)

When my coaching clients tell me about times of transition, I ask what they could do to nurture themselves to reduce stress. Creativity is always at the top of the list, along with getting enough sleep, exercise, proper nutrition and being with friends or family.

Creative expression has the power to heal emotions, and nurture the soul. When we enter the flow states of complete absorption in a creative process, we open our awareness to new perceptions, and new perspectives. Creativity is something you can control. When you take time out of time to create, you shift your field of attention into something generative and life affirming.

FINALLY, IMPROVISING: 

Improve, in any form, is creativity where we are fully present and stay flexible.

Resilient people are masters of innovation and resourcefulness. They have the capacity to improvise and to create bricolage: creative problem-solving using a variety of materials that happen to be available.

The Apollo 13 mission (launched April 13, 1970) is a dramatic example of improvisation: When the spacecraft was well on its way to the Moon, an oxygen tank exploded, scrubbing the lunar landing and putting the crew in jeopardy.

Working with Mission Control in Houston, the crew used their lunar module as a “lifeboat.” Using spare parts and spacecraft canisters, the astronauts improvised a method to reduce the carbon dioxide concentration in the spacecraft.

How might you improvise at home or at work? What resources do you have available to you, to utilize in new ways?

DISCOVER YOUR VALUES HOMEWORK:

http://alexandrajamieson.com/values

EXPRESSIVE WRITING PRACTICE: 

Imagine it’s 5 years from now and you feel really good in your life. Your work, your relationships, your health are all in a solid, satisfying place. You look back on this workshop, this moment, as a turning point in your attitude, creativity, and self-compassion. What happened for this current time of crisis to be a catalyst in you creating a beautiful life? What story do you tell people 5 years from now about what you did and who you became during this time of turmoil? Tell the story now - write for 5-10 minutes.

Direct download: Creative_Resilience_in_Stressful_Times.mp3
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How important is your self-care? Do you make it a priority? In today’s show, you’ll meet a creative woman who wants you to care about your self-care! She lovingly creates plant-based products that make people heal and love themselves. You’ll be intrigued by her inspiring story and her connection to healing herbs, all of which began with a single bar of soap.

Krystle Robinson-Hershey is the creator of Sage & Elm Apothecary, a company dedicated to providing customers with plant-based beauty products. Krystle is dedicated to her holistic approach to creating unique products to enhance self-care. A trailblazing entrepreneur, Krystle is also a wife and mom to five children.

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/244

Direct download: HRR_251.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Where do you prefer to work? Part of being in alignment with your core values is how you work, where you work, and with whom you work. I like to work at home sometimes, but I still use a  fantastic coworking space, and I occasionally resort to the tried-and-true coffee shop, where the low caffeinated hum of others around me brings peace and comfort. Most important to me is that I can work in a place that feels welcoming, cozy, and comfortable--and my coworking space gives me that. I’ve found that a coworking space provides fewer distractions than working at home, and I love the benefits and amenities. If you’ve never tried a coworking space, then today’s show will open your eyes!

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/243

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_243_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Today we are discussing a hard topic. It’s a subject that many people try to ignore, but the truth is that we can all do something to help in the fight against sex trafficking. Get in a safe space and join us if you’re ready to listen to a woman who turned the problem into her mission.

Kristen Harness has turned her early mess into her message. From a childhood of abuse and homelessness, Kristen has made rescuing the victims, girls and young women who get caught up and forced into prostitution and sex and human trafficking, her mission through her organization, Extended Hands of Hope.

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/242 

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_249_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Today’s show focuses on a topic that doesn’t get enough attention, which is the relationship between early childhood abuse and our ability to be happy, healthy, and successful adults. Let’s take a deeper look with my guest.

Dr. Rosenna Bakari is an author, advocate, and scholar. She’s been busy writing about breaking the silence of sexual violence and helping adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Rosenna is not just a survivor but a thriver. She’s also a psychologist who knows how to help people process their early trauma and find the strength to thrive. I’ve found that the healthiest response to childhood emotional wounds is also the rarest response, which is to feel in order to let things go. Acknowledging the feelings is the way to try out a new set of patterns and ways of being. Rosenna is a role model and voice for those who need support through the different flavors of trauma. Her book is Too Much Love is Not Enough: A Memoir of Childhood Sexual Abuse. 

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/241

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_248_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Fertility is a topic that comes up frequently for anyone who works with women. Infertility is a problem that many people face, and it affects men as well as women. Many people you see every day are going through struggles to build their family, although they wear a mask that makes everything seem OK. Today’s guest calls infertility “the silent epidemic,” and the numbers of people affected are simply astounding.

 

Andrea Syrtash is a relationship expert, journalist, and the founder of Pregnantish, the first media site devoted exclusively to helping singles, couples, and LGBTQ humans navigate fertility treatments and infertility. She’s been featured on Oprah’s OWN Network, FOX, and other TV outlets, and she’s written books titled He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing), It’s OK to Sleep with Him on the First Date, and Cheat on Your Husband . . . with Your Husband. Because of Andrea’s long, tough journey, she is committed to breaking the taboo of infertility and elevating the conversation about what it takes to start a family for millions of people today. Her work is both interesting and controversial. She’s here to share her story of 18 fertility treatments for eight years, and how she finally met her baby through a surrogate. There are a lot of misconceptions and stigma around types of fertility treatments and infertility. Because this affects so many women, I wanted us to have a deep and meaningful conversation about infertility, the options, and how we can better support friends and family members. We’ll discuss how Andrea kept up her creative, on-air personality while undergoing an intense physical and emotional process behind the scenes. We’ll also discuss the judgments and unwelcome advice that people encounter as they go through infertility, along with the legal ramifications that make things even more difficult. 

You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/240

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_239_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Mid Life Success Stories

Life doesn’t end at 30, no matter what your younger self believed.

It’s so harmful to believe the story that we have to be a big success by the time we’re 40 or we’re failures. 

We live in this cult of youth that discounts the wisdom, beauty, and experience that age brings. 

WORSE: it makes us middle-aged mamas (and papas) lose faith in ourselves, stop following our dreams, and quiet our own fierce voices.

As an antidote to the false story that once you cross a certain arbitrary age you’re “past your prime,” here are some amazing stories inspired by this viral tweet that went out a couple of weeks ago: 

Tweet on Mid Life Success Stories

Here’s just a couple of stories I loved from the thousands of comments people shared on Twitter:

TWEET

AND, here are stories shared from a few womxn in my Her Rules Radio Crew Facebook group from ya’ll!

Fan shares

AND, here are a couple of success stories from my own beloved Creatrix Clients that are sure to inspire you!

Heather Hudak just published her first book, Nourish, Heal, Thrive at aged 50!

Heather Hudak Author

Michele, who came to NYC for a retreat with me, fell in love with the Embody Dance class we had and reconnected with her love of ballet. She found a private teacher, and performed a solo recital for her 60th birthday - dancing en pointe! (which is a huge accomplishment at any age!)

Ready to get inspired and shake off the “too old,” or “it’s too late” vibes?

I’m getting ready to organize 3 new retreats, and you’re invited! These retreats will be inspiring, clarifying, healing, and motivating. They’ll be filled with other womxn who believe that no matter your age (25? Great! 65? Awesome!), your time is now.

 

Interested in an upcoming retreat with Alex? I’m planning virtual and in-person retreats for small groups of womxn this spring!

Just share a few details with me here so I can get you the details as we make plans:

http://bit.ly/springevents2020 




Direct download: Mid_Life_Success_Stories.mp3
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I made an Instagram post over last weekend applauding the landmark decision of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry to pull back from royal life and do what’s right for them. I’ve taken the liberty to make Meghan’s name a past tense verb that means to value yourself enough to leave a situation in which your authentic self is not welcomed or wanted. Don’t we all need to be more like Meghan in making the power move to set rules and boundaries that work for us?

Geneva Peschka is a director, creative producer, and incredible documentary filmmaker. Geneva knows the value and the healing power in telling our own stories. She co-directed Unspoken and is the director/producer of a short documentary series titled Women. We’ll talk about the importance of creating space and allowing people to tell their stories. It’s what life is all about. 

Show Highlights:

  • Geneva’s work as Community Manager of The Wing and her ten years in NYC
  • How Geneva realized she wanted community to pursue her creative endeavors
  • How working at The Wing helped fuel Geneva’s creative work within a framework of collaboration
  • Examples of how Geneva nourished and replenished herself when she found herself out of balance
  • Why you need to have an honest conversation with yourself about what brings you joy
  • How Geneva dove deeper into healing by becoming a Reiki practitioner, learning to set boundaries, and being dedicated to replenishing herself
  • How Geneva has learned to handle the pressure by recognizing what serves her well and what doesn’t
  • How Geneva is learning to be more gentle and more patient with herself
  • How the documentary series, Womxn, highlights a diverse group of women who share thoughts and experiences
  • Geneva’s inspiration for Womxn and her purpose of awakening people and sharing authentic experiences in celebration
  • The process, form, and structure of the interviews in the Womxn series, along with the collaborative community that made it possible
  • Womxn---the unique spelling that symbolizes inclusion
  • Unspoken, the short documentary featuring Emma, a teen with autism
  • How Geneva observed how Emma and others with disabilities were treated in public
  • How the passion for storytelling was awakened in Geneva by seeing her mother be strong in speaking up and speaking out
  • The therapeutic effect on Geneva in using her voice and talents to help others be seen and heard
  • The rewarding impact in sharing and celebrating other people’s stories
  • Geneva’s words of wisdom about sharing your story: “Just start. Have a vision. Ask people for their ideas and their help. Be gentle with yourself. Take your time, don’t burn yourself out, and dream big.”
  • Upcoming projects for Geneva: expanding the Womxn series, a feature documentary, and an animated series

Resources:

https://www.genevapeschka.com/

Geneva’s Womxn series on Vimeo:

Unspoken short documentary: 

 

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_238_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

I’ve seen a common theme emerge repeatedly with my coaching clients of recommitting to our bodies and falling back in love with self-care. Energy, strength, and physical vitality are necessary for us to create the life we want, so what are the things that bring joy to you in your body? No matter where you are on your self-care journey, every moment is a blank-slate opportunity. You can recommit to wellness and your body right now. You deserve it!

 

Robin Bronk is CEO of the Creative Coalition, where artists are inspired to use their voices to make the nation better. We all owe the Creative Coalition a debt of thanks. Back in 1989, actor Ron Silver brought together a group of writers, actors, producers, directors, and designers from the entertainment world and founded the Creative Coalition. They are people who want to use their skills and savvy to stand up for the arts. Federal funding for the arts, free speech, and arts education are causes that the Creative Coalition supports.

 

Show Highlights:

 

  • How and why Robin became involved in the Creative Coalition
  • What the Creative Coalition does to help the arts thrive and flourish in our country
  • The fascinating phenomenon of an actor’s scope of influence
  • Our responsibilities within our community
  • How arts funding and education are beneficial to our kids
  • How the Creative Coalition presents the facts and figures in advocating for the arts before Congress
  • Why the arts should be important to all of us
  • How the arts open up a world of possibilities to all types of students while connecting them to other subject areas
  • What we can do to become better advocates for the arts
  • STEM vs. STEAM

 

Resources:

 

www.thecreativecoalition.org

Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_237_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT

Thank you for being here! I feel truly thankful that I get to share this work with you all. Thank you for your time and attention. I see your commitment to your work and your creative expression, your health, relationships, and putting in the time and resources to be fully expressed in this short time we have here in this lifetime. Your work matters. Your work is important...I believe that.

What’s a Creatrix? What’s Creative Leadership?

Creatrix is an old word that means "she who creates; authoress; feminine founder."

Creative Leadership means…leading in a way that embraces life-long learning; this leader is someone who handles change with creative thinking skills and a “I can figure this out” attitude; this leader is as committed to their own autonomy, free from past limiting beliefs, as well as committing to connecting to others; this leader commits to bringing their unique voice and vision to the world in the service of their own abundance and the uplifting of others.

4 things we'll cover in this episode:

  1. What Creatrix Leadership IS, why it's important in this fast-changing economy, and how to grow yours in 2020
  2. The remedies for Imposter Syndrome, "being seen," overwhelm, confusion, and fear of judgment (it’s all about shame)
  3. Connect with your Inner Authority for self-trust and get better at making good decisions, fast.

For more, sign up for the Creatrix 2020 Training, January 8th, here: http://bit.ly/creatrixleader2020

http://bit.ly/creatrixleader2020

Direct download: Ending_Shame_for_Creative_Leaders.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 12:11pm EDT

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