Tue, 17 December 2019
The Secret Weapon of #Creatrix Leaders: Community by Alexandra Jamieson
Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology, developed a five core element of psychological well-being and happiness. Seligman believes that these five elements can help people work towards a life of fulfillment, happiness, and meaning.
P – Positive Emotion
This element is, perhaps, the most obvious connection to happiness. Focusing on positive emotions is more than smiling: it is the ability to remain optimistic and view one’s past, present, and future from a constructive perspective.
E – Engagement
Activities that meet our need for engagement flood the body with positive neurotransmitters and hormones that elevate one’s sense of well-being. This engagement helps us remain present, as well as synthesize the activities where we find calm, focus, and joy.
M – Meaning
Having an answer as to “why are we on this earth?” is a key ingredient that can drive us towards fulfillment.
Religion and spirituality provide many people with meaning, as can working for a good company, raising children, volunteering for a greater cause, and expressing ourselves creatively.
Unfortunately, the media worships glamour and the pursuit of material wealth, impacting many people to feel like money is the gateway to happiness. While we do need money to pay for basic needs, once those basic needs are met and financial stress is not an issue, money is not what provides people with happiness.
A – Accomplishments
Having goals and ambition in life can help us to achieve things that can give us a sense of accomplishment. You should make realistic goals that can be met and just putting in the effort to achieving those goals can already give you a sense of satisfaction when you finally achieve those goals a sense of pride and fulfillment will be reached.
Having accomplishments in life is important to push ourselves to thrive and flourish.
R – Relationships
Relationships and social connections are crucial to meaningful lives.
Too often, the pursuit of happiness has this Western bias of “individuality” where each person steers their personal happiness ship to shore. This is not realistic. We are social animals who are hard-wired to bond and depend on other humans. Hence, the basic need for healthy relationships.
We thrive on connections that promote love, intimacy, and a strong emotional and physical interaction with other humans. Positive relationships with one’s parents, siblings, peers, coworkers, and friends is a key ingredient to overall joy. Strong relationships also provide support in difficult times that require resilience.
Basically, our pain centers become activated when we are at risk of isolation. From an evolutionary perspective, isolation is the worse thing we could do for survival.
These activation centers are like fire alarms in the body, discouraging people to continue feeling this pain, and ideally, reconnect socially with someone or a group. We need, neurologically, to know that we belong to a group; it helps us feel safe and valued, and has for millions of years.
This led me to think a lot about the kinds of communities we need to achieve our own goals and growth, including professionally and personally…
I read a lot and have seen hits on this Creative Community idea from many different successful artists, creatives, and entrepreneurs.
In her hilarious and illuminating book on thriving as a working actor, Jenna Fischer preaches “be a joiner!”
I couldn’t agree more...
In her first years struggling to get acting gigs in Hollywood, before she became famous as Pam on The Office, Jenna worked day jobs and tried to get auditions while her roommate took a different route:
He joined a theater company and volunteered for behind-the-scenes work in “the biz.”
While Jenna watched a lot of movies alone at home, her roommate was always busy, building community, learning how the business worked, making connections, and creating side projects with other actors.
After getting lonely and feeling isolated, Jenna realized she needed to join in, volunteered at a theater, and began making community and connections.
She credits her new friends and community with supporting her and keeping her going on the long, tough road to success.
In my own career, it is the friends and connections I’ve made through coaching programs, conferences, retreats, and classes that have given me the strength and inspiration to keep going during hard times when I didn’t believe in myself or when I was trying something new and risky.
“You think you’re alone and thought this up yourself, you know, and you’re not; you’re part of an interactive web of twentieth-century thought.
That is, to me, incredibly lovely because...it’s just less lonely.”
~ Laurie Anderson
On Trying To Be The Solo SuperWoman
Being a creative entrepreneur (AKA Creatrix Leader) can be a meaningful, healing, spiritual, and deeply satisfying way to make a living and a life. At its best, we do it in the company of others, with a balance of alone time.
There are a few instances of Creatrix leaders who do it all in solitude, create great work, and have the inner fortitude to manage the mental and emotional challenges…
...though, I don’t know any personally.
Out of all of the long-time, successful creative entrepreneurs I know, I see a common trait amongst us:
We continue to seek out community, get support, and ask for help. We set aside time to go away together and brainstorm strategies. We make space for creating our ideas into reality. We put money, time, and resources towards this work. We commit our full selves to the process, again, and again, and again.
Creative Leaders (AKA Creatrix Leaders, AKA Creative Entrepreneurs) DO require community:
My own community of support is made up of writers, coaches, artists, entrepreneurs, actors, filmmakers, and more.
I’ve just joined a small group of women who are my own mastermind group for 2020.
I cannot imagine where I’d be without the stimulating conversations, questions, challenges, and heartfelt support of these fellow creators and risk-takers.
Brilliant event facilitator Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, credits her creative community with keeping her inspired, focused, and finding her authentic voice:
“We figure out not only who we are, but who we could be, through our gatherings...birds of a feather flock together, but we have a choice of who we want our birds to be.”
You don’t need to be a painter, novelist, or poet to have a creative community.
Women in my past mentorship groups have included:
… the list goes on and on.
These womxn realized that working with a coach and a small community would help them leap over their previous limiting beliefs.
Because when you get to know people, and let them know you, you can’t hide behind your excuses anymore.
“Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.”
~ Helen Keller
Even when you have the skills, plan, and commit to showing up to the creative work every day, it can take time. Success doesn’t happen overnight.
The community you find in mentorship groups are there to lend support and feedback, listen to you, hold you when you’re feeling down, and cheer you on as you bust through limiting beliefs.
The womxn you meet will be so inspirational, they’ll help you get through the struggle and doubt. And, by the way, you’ll inspire them to get their their hard times, too!
And Yet, It Can Feel Scary To Join IN
There are perceived challenges to joining a group. We face additional fears:
The truth is “Human happiness lies in doing well what we are uniquely suited for,” The more you get to use your strengths to further causes you believe in, the better you will feel.
The best way I’ve found to handle these fears is to talk with people in a group, or apply to work with coaches who are creating a community like the Creatrix 2020 Mentorship, ask questions, feel into the possibilities, and leap toward the desires I’ve had for growth and connection.
On Balancing Our Introvert With Our Desire To Connect
In Priscilla Long’s Handbook for creators, Minding The Muse, she describes the stages of a creative’s work, which I think parallels a successful Creatrix’s path:
“Writing is a lonely job.
Having someone who believes in you makes a lot of difference.”
~ Stephen King
I’ve always found this path to be a dance between alone time, group-connection-time, and “going public” time. The first few times you do this dance, it feels weird and uncoordinated. That’s ok - you’ll get better!
In the end, creating your work, with your unique voice and vision, isn’t just about making money, (though my passion is that we Creatrix Womxn get paid well), in the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will be touched and served by your work, and enriching your own life as well.
Some questions to consider as you get ready to find your community:
Applications are now open for the Creatrix 2020 Mentorship group, which begins January 24th, 2020. Get the details and apply here: https://alexandrajamieson.com/creatrix/
Direct download: creative_community.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 10:18am EDT
Mon, 9 December 2019
Clear. Freedom. Unapologetic Action. Uncommon Skills For Women Who Lead.
From clutter to clarity.
From overwhelm to spaciousness.
From other people’s priorities running your life to life running by your rules, gracefully.
The most powerful skill driven women master is the power to clear space.
When we claim dominion over our time, we truly, truly, truly get the life we dream about.
The impact. The health. The body. The love. The abundance.
We hide the truth behind our distractions...
It’s behind our addiction to the Container Store…
Maybe if I get these matching cartons and redesign my office, I’ll be more productive.
It’s behind our over-committing to newsletters and podcasts…
If I have more information I’ll finally systematize my life and work to boss-babe level.
It’s the cause of our late-night eating and chugging a bottle of Merlot by ourselves…
The crush of work and family was massive today (and tomorrow!!) - I deserve this.
A client story, meant to inspire:
Andrea and I worked together for several months when the crush of mothering, running her online coaching business, and over-commitment to various events lead to a perfect storm of overwhelm:
“I’m tapped out. I am barking at my kids. My husband and I barely speak. I don’t know what next step to take in my business. I’m too distracted and frantic.”
I led her through a clarity exercise which revealed powerful truths, and swept away the stuff that was in the way of her true desires:
Andrea was hiding behind her busy life.
She filled every moment so as to avoid seeing her truths.
Her truth was that her kids were fine, and didn’t need her constant attention.
In fact, she saw, they began to thrive when she gave them more space.
Her truth was that her marriage needed more attention, but her overwhelm unconsciously drained her of the energy necessary to get her into couples therapy.
Her truth was that her soul wants her business to evolve into a new style of coaching, and she was afraid to start sharing her new work with clients and friends.
The truth, found in the clear spaces, is that your life is calling you to action.
Saying “no” to the old, overwhelmed schedule requires fierce love and dedication.
Saying “this time is reserved for my soul-level work” requires trust and faith in your worth.
Saying “I’m worth this” means shedding old habits and ways of thinking.
Here’s the truth:
You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.
You can be seen as a helpful person who achieves great things and fiercely protects your soul’s need for space.
You can be a good, considerate woman who puts her priorities above all else.
You can be a reasonable, smart woman who invests in her growth and spiritual needs.
You will get more, better work accomplished when you have more space and peace.
All this requires mastering the uncommon, Creatrix skill of clearing space.
Clear space in your daily schedule for your needs.
Clear space for your body and soul to speak to you through dance or meditation.
Clear space on your agenda for envisioning, high-level coaching that takes you to the next level of your development.
Clear space in your life for your voice and desires to air out and take action.
By getting clear, Andrea saw her life for what it was: her own.
And in that freedom from distraction, she began to take action.
And her life began to reflect her truest desires.
Now that’s power.
Do this today:
Look at your schedule for today.
Look at the obligations you feel responsible for.
Choose 2 things to say NO to.
Plan 30 minutes in your calendar for a spacious walk, meditation, nap, or journal session.
Fight the urge to justify your change in plans.
There is no one to justify this to, except your soul, your truth.
Look at the remaining days of December.
Choose a day to reclaim for yourself.
Envision the perfect babysitter for the kids, or that your husband willingly takes them for 6 full hours of fun.
Turn off your social media.
Put away your phone.
What will you do with this space?
What will you gain from this blank time?
What fears or worries start to appear when you have clear time for truth to arise?
My own work as a mentor, coach, and writer have evolved by leaps and bounds in the last year, but it required a fierce dedication to creating space.
Space for truth to arise.
Clearing away lies that repeat, like “you’re not good enough.”
I invite you to clear your space today, NAME.
Write me back - just hit reply:
How will you claim your space now?
What do you suspect you will find in the space?
And finally, how will your life be better in 1 year when you dedicate yourself to protecting your space?
(I, and only I, read your replies. And yes, I read every single one :)
P.S. Applications for the Creatrix 2020 Mentorship open soon - get on the early bird list here to be in the first group to apply: https://forms.gle/SbDsYkEXG3QFQqnCA
Direct download: Free_Clear_Unapologetic_Space.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 11:44am EDT
Wed, 4 December 2019
Inner Authority and CONFIDENCE Through Creative Self-Expression
Welcome back to Her Rules Radio! I'm Alexandra Jamieson, your coach and host.
Kate had a hidden, secret, second-self. Her Shadow.
Despite her success, Kate couldn’t shake the idea that women in her sales group were better than her: more sophisticated, better educated, more confident than she.
They were members of an “in-group” that she never felt invited to.
She worked super hard to get her children accepted to groups and clubs and schools where they would “belong.”
She always felt like an outsider at work events, school gatherings, and caught other moms giving her strange looks, and obsessed that they were judging her.
“Every time I hang out with other women at company events or conferences, I freeze up. I drink too much because I’m obsessed with how I look, always comparing myself to them.
And even though I’ve reached the Gold Circle and the top 10 people in sales at our company, I never feel like I’m good enough. I drink too much, eat too much, and can’t relax to make friends with people in a way that feels authentic. I just feel uncomfortable in myself.
It’s so weird, because I’m doing so well with my sales! People always comment on how authentic and easy-going I am in our business conversations, but when the attention turns to me in real opportunity for connection I get weird and start to feel anxious.”
Freezing up is caused by an inner insecurity where we aren’t able to express ourselves fully and honestly.
Imagine you’re in front of a person or group of people whose opinion you care about.
They’re all looking at you.
Focus on how your body feels: do you feel physical signals like tightness, heart racing, sweating, or other feelings like you’re a deer in headlights?
In this moment, do you feel like you can express yourself, while feeling these feelings?
The insecurity, awkwardness, and anxiety kills our ability to connect with others, and our creative thinking shuts down. It makes us so obsessed with how others might judge us, that we can’t be authentically generous and become overly self-focused. Which makes us feel more alienated.
Through our coaching conversations, K realized she was keeping herself from these relationships. We practiced and K was able to approach a couple of the women in her company that she wanted to connect with.
She asked if they’d be interested in forming a women’s group within the company, so they could support each other. K told them about her inner anxiety and what she was working on with her coach, and they immediately opened up:
They had also been feeling disconnected and wanted to create stronger relationships at work, with her! In fact, they both looked up to her and hoped they could learn more from her about how she had become so successful!
K has misjudged them: she had become so self-obsessed and withholding that there wasn’t an opening for the other women to approach her. Both sides were wrong about each other. And by bravely, vulnerably opening up to them, they were able to begin a new way of being together.
Insecurity seems to have a life of its own.
Inside each of us is a hidden, secret, second-self. The Shadow.
All those feelings of inadequacy, fear, and self-doubt, are our inner shadow.
It’s the part of us we try to hide.
The part we fear we’ll be judged for, if anyone knew the truth.
It’s everything about ourselves we don’t want to be, but fear we truly are.
It’s called The Shadow, because it follows us everywhere. It’s your dark side, your ego, Bitch Brain, low-vibration self, and id. It’s the grotesque Mr. Hyde to our respectable Dr. Jekyll.
Your shadow impacts how you see yourself. It doesn’t matter if others see you as successful, beautiful, brilliant, and wonderful: if your shadow says you’re a reject, a loser, too fat, too old, or too lame, that’s what you’re likely to believe about yourself.
The Shadow is our insecurity.
And it’s why insecurity is impossible to get rid of.
The only way to manage The Shadow is to integrate it.
AND, turn it into a source of strength.
This truth speaks to our most basic, shared human struggle:
We all want to feel worthy, loveable, and capable.
But we are the only ones who see our shadow, and we feel ashamed.
We feel so disgusted by our inner truth, we turn away from The Shadow and look outside ourselves for something that makes us feel worthy, loveable, capable, and valuable.
So we look to others to validate us, approve of our work, our ideas, our selves.
It’s why we get obsessed with celebrities and influencers, or the woman in our field who has a social media following twice the size of our own:
We think that because others focus on this person, that she has been validated and approved of. And we focus on the “vanity metrics” of follower size,
Our need for acceptance causes us to buy things we don’t really want, follow career paths we don’t truly care about, create things that aren’t our true calling because they’ve been validated by likes.
The shadow is an innate part of the human being, but most of us are willfully blind to its existence. We hide our negative qualities, from ourselves and everyone else.
To hide we might criticize others in an effort to take the attention off of ourselves. We go through life with a false sense of superiority and a belief that while others act badly or destructively, we ourselves are wholly virtuous and always in the right. But we know it’s not true, because a part of us is always aware of The Shadow.
No amount of approval from others can make you feel whole or worthy.
Because no amount of outside validation can eliminate your inner Shadow.
We can’t escape it, because it’s always there, lurking beneath the surface, hiding behind our outer appearance, making us feel a failure, embarrassed, and weak.
When you need validation from people and metrics outside yourself, you give them your power. They become your ruler.
No matter what you do, you are always seeking this validation, which causes you to edit your ideas, your truth, your uniqueness. It makes us twist ourselves and silence our voices in order to hide The Shadow from everyone around us.
So every time you get into a group of people, or start to reveal yourself, you freeze in an effort to hide The Shadow within. You get unfocused, confused, or stop your forward momentum with expressing yourself.
What healers and psychologists since Carl Jung have known is that the way to heal our relationship to The Shadow is to embrace it, integrate it, and learn from it.
Embrace The Shadow, and Unleash Your Creative Self-Expression (USCSE)
Think back to when you were a kid, and felt free to express yourself. Maybe it was creativity, play, movement, or imaginative self-expression. When we are small, until we experience the first traumas of life, we have a feeling of freedom in our bodies and have no Shadow to hide.
We are connected to the Universal Spirit of Creative Self-Expression.
We are filled with it when we’re young.
You see it in kids you know.
This Universal Spirit of Creative Self-Expression drives us to share who we are, what we think, and how we feel without filter, and uncaring of how others react, or what they might think about us. It causes us to share ourselves in a genuine, truthful way.
When you embody this Spirit, you speak and share yourself with clarity, depth, excitement, energy, and authenticity.
You become a channel, a conduit, for something greater, and Universally True.
We all feel it in different ways:
Writing, speaking, singing, dancing, painting.
Athletes get “in the zone.”
You’re speaking or acting from your deepest, truest self, because you are connected to this spirit, this energy, that we all have the ability to connect with.
As children we all naturally express ourselves from this Universal Spirit. As we grow into adults, we get injured, judged, and punished for our unique expression, and learn to hide it.
By the time we become teenagers we are obsessed with outside approval from our peers.
Then we have to hide anything about ourselves that might be judged as bad or weird.
And we use our hidden place to store all the things about ourselves that might, in any way, be unlikeable, unworthy, or unlovable.
So our inner, hidden self becomes a dumping ground, and we keep using our energy to hide within ourselves. Our least-favorite qualities become inextricably tied with who we truly are, down underneath all the outside show we put on for others.
And our Inner Truth turns into something we hate, The Shadow.
This means, dear one, that our Shadow holds the key to our true self, our inner authority and confidence, and our creative self-expression.
It takes powerful tools to unlock this gorgeous confidence.
The best tool I can share that I’ve used myself and with countless clients, is Creative Self-Expression.
#1 When I finally came clean and shared that I was eating meat again after being vegan for 10+ years, I had to face The Shadow that I was a fraud and a failure. The truth was, through sharing my evolution and new reality, that I was honoring my body, which I had been trying to control through food. In the social media firestorm that came next, I discovered a much bigger audience of people who wanted help in creating a healthy relationship with food and their bodies.
I felt honest and self-expressed. And my business grew.
#2 My client K applied for and won a coveted promotion that moved her family to Amsterdam.
#3 Other clients have worked with their shadow to realize that they were still trying to appease their parents through their current career track or presentation, and decided to stop hiding their message and passion. Building platforms, writing books, speaking out more often.
When we stop caring what people think of us, or how they’ll judge us, and begin to self-express more clearly and creatively, people are drawn to us. We become a magnet for clients and important relationships.
You are just one of the few who has bravely stepped up to integrate The Shadow.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” (Carl Jung)
Once we become more aware of The Shadow in ourselves, we must honor it and find a way to integrate it into our life. It’s the Uncommon Path of Creative Leaders who Thrive. If we fail to do it, or continue to hide it (and hide from it), we become weak and scattered because we’re trying to serve our authentic self and hide our shadow, which dissipates our powers and energy. The shadow must become a part of one’s conscious personality.
Tap into your Inner Authority, through Creative Self-Expression.
Embrace your hidden self, knowing every single human being, even the greats you admire, has their own shadow they’re wrestling with.
Embrace it, and speak with it, knowing you are the only Inner Authority who matters.
TEXT: CREATRIX to 33444
To get on the early bird list for Creatrix 2020
Direct download: CONFIDENCE_AND_SHADOW_WORK.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 11:57am EDT
Mon, 18 November 2019
“I just don’t feel inspired today, Mom.”
My kid was standing, shoulders slumped, pencil and sketch pad on the table.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “You don’t have to feel inspired right now. All an artist needs to do is sit down and start moving the pencil so inspiration has somewhere to show up.”
My 12-year old son was facing what all of us creative and driven types face at some point: the myth of inspiration.
I see it in my clients all the time: coaches, podcasters, consultants, writers, and healers.
I see it in myself, which is how I can spot it so quickly in other people!
This false myth needs to be scrubbed from our belief systems.
It’s a myth that we need to wait for a great idea to land, fully formed, in our brains, and only then can we sit down and create something “good.”
And I’m about to show you how to scrub that myth from our minds, why it’s important to do so, and how it will benefit your satisfaction and success.
I hear this myth expressed from my clients who are:
The myth keeps us from sitting down and fumbling through our thoughts.
The myth stops us from getting our butts in the chair to write.
The myth is what keeps us from getting better through practice.
The truth is, great writers and creators, successful coaches, and outstanding entrepreneurs don’t wait for inspiration to strike: they get down to the work, knowing that inspiration comes when we have our tools, get into our space, welcome the Muse, and embody the Creatrix.
It’s like putting on your hiking boots: you’re not out hiking yet, but you’re ready to start.
If I waited to feel inspired I might never:
What’s important, and what every creator you admire knows, is that it’s the tiny personal habits that lead to professional success...and life satisfaction.
Growing these habits of creativity can greatly improve anyone’s life. (Especially your business and career!) And the practice of ramping up your creativity isn’t just for artists.
Creativity is for everyone.
But waiting for inspiration?
That’s a rookie belief.
Studies on creativity, inventors, and entrepreneurs show that those who produce the “master works” also tend to produce the most work, including a lot of failures. Some quotes from people who know:
Now, don’t get me wrong:
This truth about inspiration is not the same as not listening to your intuition!
You might be thinking, “but Alex, how is this different from trusting my intuition when it tells me to wait?”
Very good question!
Here’s another question for you to ask yourself, so tune in, get quiet, and ask yourself:
Is my intuition telling me to stop and rest and wait?
Or am I resisting showing up to the daily work of experimentation and practice?
Only you can answer this question. Doing the work, consistently, even when it isn’t “good,” is what helps us trust and hone our intuition.
As you show up to the page, or desk, or microphone, keep listening to your intuition and let it guide you. It will lead you to inspiration and great ideas.
So showing up to your work, consistently, is really about trusting yourself, the value of your ideas, and believing in your divine connection to your Inner Creatrix.
Here are some ways you can realign with your internal motivation and show up for your passions:
MAKE TIME, TAKE
SPACE: be present, look at the world around you, read books, look at art, listen to music, walk in nature, make art. Get out of your device. Our job as creatives is to observe, play with reality, take in the world, and imagine a new one. We are the creators of the new world and new solutions. By being present your ideas and inspirations will come.
These all work for me, and I hope they help you, too.
The priceless value of committing to your creativity, and not waiting for inspiration to strike, is that you’ll create new, exciting combinations:
Some questions for reflection:
Do you tend to work in the same way all the time?
Can you shake it up?
Do you make space and take time to consistently show up for your passions?
In late December I’ll be opening applications for the Creatrix 2020 mentorship program. Want to be in the first group to apply? Go here to get on the early bird list:
Direct download: The_Myth_of_Inspiration.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 11:00am EDT
Mon, 11 November 2019
Confession: I Was A Copy Cat Coach
I didn’t think I had anything interesting or new to say. Scratch that: I DID believe I had something to say, I just wasn’t saying it. Instead I was copying others and passing it off as my own. Because I was scared...
When I started out as a health coach, 19 years ago, I followed the exact formula set out by the school I attended. That strategy helped me engage and support clients, so I stuck with the formula for years. But then it stopped working. And I thought I just needed a new formula to grow my business again.
So I signed up with a coach who trained me in a new formula and system, and I began to see a new burst of growth and clients. I used that formula for a while, and it started to get harder and harder to find and support new clients.
Was it me? I tend to get bored with systems and formulas, so I have to wonder if my diminishing lack of enthusiasm caused the decrease in clients. Or was it the system?
I then pinballed from coach to coach, system to system, learning new formulas.
That’s when I realized I was copying other coaches. Not just the coaches I was working with, but other coaches who put out newsletters I read, writers who wrote books I loved, and more.
It didn’t feel good.
It wasn’t very successful either.
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but when I imitated or copied other coaches, I heard a nagging voice in the back of my mind. The voice said:
“You’re copying someone else. You don’t really have anything original to say. And if it’s not yours, then what good is it? You’re just a poor imitation of someone else. Might as well give up. You’re going to get caught and called out. Better not get too big, or people will notice you’re a fraud…”
UGH. It felt gross.
I hated hearing that voice and the way it made me feel.
The impact of this voice, my Bitch Brain, (AKA Imposter Syndrome, Inner Critic, Resistance), was that I didn’t grow as big as I said I wanted to. My passion for my work was dampened by the fear of being “found out.” My impact on the world, helping women grow into their best versions and create abundant, satisfying lives, was smaller than I dreamed it could be.
And I got called out for my imitation a couple of times.
When I got called out, I made immediate steps to rectify the problem:
But the real work was in seeing that I wasn’t facing my fear:
The fear of putting out my real work, my real ideas, in my true voice, and possibly having it ignored, criticized, or not making an impact with it at all.
In the hard work of becoming yourself, and clearly presenting your vision, teaching, work, or art, you will have to face the voice that says your work isn’t good enough.
It may keep you quiet and not working at your fullest capacity...
It may cause you to copy-paste someone else’s work and not give them credit...
I may even cause you to close up shop and stop pursuing your dream...
...if you let it.
It’s a dance to create who you are, using the inspiration and education you’ve acquired, and not simply copy someone else who inspires you.
The truth is, even the greatest masters learn from someone, and often copy the work of other creators to learn technique.
When we learn how to cook, we use other people’s recipes.
When we start a business, we follow tested models that have worked for others.
But at some point, we reach a place in our work where we itch to create our own unique way of doing it. And some point, it becomes necessary for growth and our own satisfaction.
To become a unique and authentic teacher, artist, or coach, we have to learn how to filter all of our influences through our unique lens of personal experience and vision.
To create something unique and magnetic, healing and useful, we must bravely do the work. And risk getting is wrong.
My own work and drive to create is fueled in part by a desire to be original and fuse all the truths together.
Your work, or art, or services are a tapestry of all of your experiences and education, sewn and woven together in real time, always evolving.
You are a coat of many colors, not a copy-paste meme.
In a few weeks I’ll open applications for the Creatrix 2020 Mentorship. If you would like to have first access to the application process, just let me know here:
Wed, 6 November 2019
Today’s show is about owning all the parts of yourself, including the one we call the “dark night of the soul.” If you’re not familiar with the phrase, you’re probably well-acquainted with the feelings that characterize this state. Let’s jump in together and learn more!
Liyana Silver is a good friend, coach, and author. We’ve known each other for years. Liyana’s teaching is called “Mining for Gold in a Dark Night of the Soul.” She’s an amazing coach who helps women move through their dark night and into their bodies and souls. Her first book is called Feminine Genius: The Provocative Path to Waking Up and Turning On the Wisdom of Being a Woman.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/237
Mon, 28 October 2019
A short Power Pod for coaches, leaders, teachers, healers, doctors, and consultants on the edge you get with creative thinking techniques for professional success. Studies from Montreal and Harvard shine a light on the benefits of art and creativity.
Wed, 23 October 2019
Today’s show highlights a fascinating PBS documentary, which premieres just a few days from now. It’s made by a dear friend of mine and covers an intriguing phenomenon taking place in Boise, Idaho.
Beth Aala is a three-time Emmy Award-winning producer and Peabody Award winner for her documentary work at HBO. Her most recent documentary is Rancher, Farmer, Fisherman, which she co-directed and produced. It premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2017. Beth is here to discuss her new documentary that will air on PBS on October 28, so check your local listings for more information. The film is called Made In Boise, and it highlights the incredible, booming surrogacy industry that has emerged in Boise, Idaho. Beth shares her approach to the film, the relationships she witnesses, the politics of surrogacy, and the number of strong feelings and opinions brought on by this topic. I believe it’s important for women to see and hear stories about women that are made by women. Beth has built her successful career around the creation of these stories.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/235
Mon, 14 October 2019
Authentic leaders know who they are, and let people in on their truth.
Coaching to uncover your authentic truth is not just about solving problems. Coaching helps you avoid problems by providing accountability and space to think and be more clear and intentional about your goals and actions. And coaching is really helpful for getting clear about where you want to go, and how you want to feel.
Coaches don’t provide a lot of answers, but they do ask a lot of great questions to help you find your own answers.
Here's a list of my top favorite questions that I use with private coaching clients that create:
Go to https://alexandrajamieson.com/fuck-it-list/ for the free How To Write Your F*ck It Guide workbook!
Wed, 9 October 2019
You’re in for a treat on today’s show as we welcome back one of my favorite guests to talk about some of my favorite topics! We are talking about hormones and sexuality with one of the leading holistic doctors. Middle age brings with it many changes in our physical and sexual health. We’ll cover energy, focus, hormones, and sexuality as they relate to the way our bodies age.
Dr. Anna Cabeca has much to teach us about feeling safe in our bodies and sexual relationships. We’ve been friends for years, and I trust her and her products, and I use them faithfully. She understands the dropoff in energy and focus that comes with middle age, and she knows that balancing our hormones and drives in our bodies support our long-term relationships and our self-worth. If you’re struggling with any of these hormone-related issues, then this is the show for you.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/233
Tue, 1 October 2019
Our little show turns 5 years old this month! We've built an incredible community here, and you're to thank. A recap, what's next, and a sneak peek into the behind the scenes of my latest Rich Creatrix Mentorship Retreat in NYC!
Life mapping for creative leadership success, banishing imposter syndrome, and more!
Thanks for being a part of our community here.
Direct download: rich_creatrix_pod.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 10:13am EDT
Wed, 25 September 2019
We are diving into deep juiciness today as we explore the topics covered in a new book. This book will challenge your thinking about traditional Christianity and religion, especially regarding the role of women in ancient times as spiritual authorities. Come explore this topic with today’s amazing guest!
Meggan Watterson is a feminist theologian with a Master of Theological Studies degree from Harvard Divinity School and a Master of Divinity from Columbia University. She’s a teacher and writer who leads retreats and workshops on the Divine Feminine and The Soul-Voice Meditation. She is powerful and passionate about her love for Christianity, which wasn’t revealed to her until later in life. Meggan’s latest book is Mary Magdalene Revealed: The First Apostle, Her Feminist Gospel & the Christianity We Haven’t Tried Yet. The book explores the deep, rich history of women in early Christianity in a fascinating way.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/231
Wed, 18 September 2019
25 non-fiction, self-help, and "fluffy fiction" books I read this summer:
How do I source all these books?
Libby and Overdrive Apps - both require a library card, you can download ebooks and audio books for free, or place a hold and they’ll be delivered to your device when it’s your turn.
ThriftBooks app - used books for sale (usually for very cheap) by the owner
Powells.com - used and new books, and you can enter the ISBN from your books and they’ll buy them back from you. You just ship them to Powells with their pre-paid shipping label and I always get credit on their website.
Also, KindleUnlimited - it costs a bit, but for my fluffy fiction I go through them pretty fast. I also know that those authors do get paid by the page count I read, so that feels good.
I’d be lying if I said I never get tempted by a good old fashioned book store - this summer I was in my home town of Portland, OR and simply HAD to get a new book off the shelves.
How I keep track of what I've read for future reference:
For the non-fiction books, I like to take notes. I use Evernote and quote passages or write inspirations I get from the reading. Then I can tag them for future reference. So I have tags like coaching, growth mindset, courage, confidence, creativity, and marketing. I know some people use a google doc for this as well, which I use google for everything else, but Evernote’s tagging system is easier for me. Also, Evernote’s app is easier for me to use and I listen on the go a lot.
Wed, 11 September 2019
As we return to the show after a refreshing summer break, I have a special guest and a new book to share with you about a tough topic that’s close to my heart. September is Suicide Prevention Month, and this week is Suicide Prevention Week. It’s super appropriate that we discuss what life is like for the survivors left behind after the suicide of a loved one. This is something that’s been prevalent in my family, and some of my earliest memories are of the aftermath of a loved one’s suicide. Let’s dive into this topic together!
Sarah Neustadter, Ph.D., is the author of Love You Like the Sky: Surviving the Suicide of a Beloved. The book is heart-wrenching and useful, written from the perspective of a suicide survivor and psychologist. The healing process is an unfolding of growing and learning, but the important thing to know is that there IS help. Sarah wrote this book because all the books she found didn’t touch the raw emotions she felt at the death of her beloved several years ago. She was confronted with hard questions, so the book is designed as a map for navigating complicated grief and understanding grief as a way toward deeper transformation from despair to beauty.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/219
Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_-_Love_You_Like_the_Sky_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT
Mon, 29 July 2019
Ever feel like the people in your life just don’t get you?
Or like they’re trying, unconsciously or obviously, to keep you small?
Ever hear about the “bucket of crabs mentality?”
We humans get spooked when people in our life change - it upsets the energy dynamic, and makes us question their own choices… if we’re unaware and unwilling to talk about these things.
See, when you rise up and make creative moves or take bold action, people in your life might get scared that things will change for them… (or they get a big jealous that they’re not taking action on their own dreams.)
Most people don’t have the personal awareness to see their Crab Mentality.
So people all around you might be unconsciously lashing out, reacting and trying to keep you small so their world doesn’t change One. Little. Bit.
That’s why you’ve gotta trust your gut, name.
You’ve gotta fiercely tune into your own knowing, your personal truth, and your own sense of self.
AND, you’ve gotta surround yourself with people who are working on their own grand dreams who are going to cheer you on, not drag you down.
When you’re an artist, healer-teacher, coach, doctor, or creative entrepreneur, you’re always striving to do something different.
When you’re a high-achiever, you’re usually aiming to break barriers and create a new level of performance.
Are you surrounded by people who will hold your hand while cheering you on? People who will tell you it’s ok to screw up - and to keep going?
Every book, movie, painting, or important product you’ve ever loved or admired was created by someone with an idea that came out of the ether:
YOUR creative ideas, business, or unique innovations may seem too risky to someone else, but YOUR gut knows.
There’s something magic there.
And it’s worthwhile to pursue it.
Even if it doesn’t turn out exactly as we originally thought, we learn ourselves through the doing.
And we might just make something better than we ever dreamed.
This Friday, I’m leading a special training for your Creatrix soul, called:
Sign up here to get your seat and I’ll see you August 2nd:
Mon, 22 July 2019
We all have habits that get us stuck, and many of them originate from fear. Beginning from an unconscious drive for survival through fight, flight, or freeze reactions, our old habits can block our creative voice from shining.
They’re normal human responses, but to your Creatrix, your unique, productive soul, they are a waste of time, life force, and self-empowerment. When we get stuck by these blocks, we stunt our wisdom, productivity, and creativity.
Mon, 15 July 2019
To have an impact, do work that is uniquely you, and make a good living while doing it...it’s a dream for many of us.
Over the last 19 years as an independent, creative entrepreneur, I’ve been able to do work that I love, while helping people grow and heal, all while earning enough to support myself and my family. It is a huge blessing.
And it hasn’t always been easy!
As I prepare to lead another group of amazing womxn through the Rich Creatrix Mentorship, beginning August 15th, I want to share with you six of the important lessons in creative entrepreneurship I’ve experienced and growth through.
Here were some of my greatest challenges, blocks, and lessons, in becoming a Rich Creatrix:
Direct download: My_disaster_dairy_.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 3:49pm EDT
Wed, 10 July 2019
It’s no secret that most women harbor fear, shame, guilt, and some degree of curiosity around their sexuality. Today’s show addresses these issues and takes an honest, deep dive into all things sexual. Join us!
Olive Persimmon has written The Coitus Chronicles, which is described as a diary of your hilarious friend’s quest to heal her relationship with her body, sexuality, love, and her exploration of orgasm. The book is insightful, educational, and funny; I loved it from start to finish! In today’s conversation, we journey far and wide in our discussion of sexuality, STI’s, orgasm, BDSM, pick-up artists, foot fetish, and everything in between.
You can find the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/226.
Wed, 3 July 2019
Memoirs by musicians and comedians are some of my favorite books. Today I share the top lessons I gleaned from Steve Martin's Born Standing Up.
From burning down your work to start fresh, and going against the grain to stand out, to the truth about how professionals pivot, these 9 lessons are valuable for any entrepreneur, coach, or healer.
Wed, 19 June 2019
I’m always looking for topics I find inspiring and thought-provoking in this time when we as women feel uncertain, unheard, and like we are losing hope. Today’s show is all about hope and change--and how young, intelligent women are making a difference!
Andrea Flores is the co-writer of a new book, Yes She Can: 10 Stories of Hope & Change from Young Female Staffers of the Obama White House. Andrea is a lawyer in Washington, DC, and served as the regional director for Hillary Clinton’s 2016 presidential campaign. She spent 3 years in several key positions in the Obama White House and worked on the immigration bill that failed to get passed. Before that, she worked in New Mexico on the local government level. She was the first Latinx student body president in the history of Harvard University and graduated from Columbia Law School. (Latinx is a gender-neutral term used to refer to those of Latin origin.)
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/224.
Wed, 12 June 2019
Have you ever been told that you have a book inside of you just waiting to get out? Today’s show addresses why that might be true! We’re talking to a dear friend who is making it her mission to bring out the writer in everyone!
Cynthia Morris is a coach to writers, artists, and entrepreneurs to help them bring their ideas into form. For over 20 years, she’s helped thousands get beyond their excuses to create works that matter. She’s written 8 books herself, including a Paris historical novel about Sylvia Beach. You can find her books at www.originalimpulse.com. On today’s show, we’re talking about her latest book, The Busy Woman’s Guide to Writing a World-Changing Book. This is an inspirational book by a woman about our creative process. Cynthia talks about the mindset piece of writing, along with the nuts and bolts of structure, tools, and prompts. She explains how the Renaissance woman of today needs both structure and flexibility and how to write a book on schedule, no matter how busy you are.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/223
Tue, 4 June 2019
Feeling unclear about your creative ideas? This 50 Reasons exercise will help you get clear right away.
Join the Rich Creatrix 14-Day Challenge, starting June 7th, 2019: www.herrulesradio.com/shop
Wed, 22 May 2019
In today’s short Power Pod episode, we are diving deep into a particular topic that comes up a lot in my work with clients. We’re discussing 3 Thinking Traps that are stopping driven and success-minded woman from achieving what they want. Today’s word is NOT just for women, and NOT just for my clients, so listen up!
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/222
Mon, 13 May 2019
Our youth-obsessed culture has brainwashed us to believe that we are somehow past our prime. (Actually, it’s a flavor of the toxic patriarchy that we live in: us womxn are always told we’re too old… or too young!)
We see stories that exalt The 30 Under 30, the stories of precocious founders or influencer who “hit it big” before most of us finished grad school.
What they don’t tell you, and what doesn’t get enough attention, is that hitting it big at a young age is the exception, not the rule.
But those are the stories we hear about most often. And it’s disheartening.
So I’m here to share a few inspiring tales of famous folk you admire, and a few of my proud clients, who weren’t young, overnight sensations:
Get private coaching from me:https://alexandrajamieson.com/private-coaching/
Wed, 8 May 2019
Imposter Syndrome is real, especially for certain high-achieving women
How to end imposter syndrome
Online training with Alexandra Jamieson
Wed, 1 May 2019
If you’re a mom, then you know what it feels like to always be pressured to do more. You run yourself ragged trying to keep up the appearance of being a great mom, and getting to and from all the kids’ activities is about to push you over the edge. Sound familiar? The good news is that it’s OK to slow down and do LESS----and you’ll find more satisfaction and joy along the way.
Kate Northrup is an entrepreneur, activist, bestselling author, wife, and mom who supports ambitious, motivated, successful women to light up the world without burning themselves out in the process. Her new book is Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Busy Moms, and Kate’s here to share what she has discovered.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/219
Mon, 22 April 2019
This is a story about coming out of hiding, admitting what we want, who we are, and taking bold, bright, beautiful action on behalf of our dreams.
This is a story about becoming the Mother of Dragons.
Wed, 17 April 2019
Why do most of us equate our worth as a woman with our body weight? There is no good answer, but we can all agree that things need to change! Our size and body weight has nothing to do with how we deserve love and respect. We’re diving into transformational thinking with today’s guest!
Susan Hyatt has been a life coach for the past 12 years. She has written a brand new book called Bare: A 7-Week Program to Transform Your Body, Get More Energy, Feel Amazing, and Become the Bravest, Most Unstoppable Version of You. The book distills the program she’s been teaching to her clients for years. The book covers the foundation principles that you are more than your body; you are whole and complete with unlimited potential. Susan wants women to feel satisfied and well in their bodies. Susan’s work focuses on how we should treat our bodies with care, love, and respect, and shed the mindset that keeps us weighted down and too exhausted and afraid to be seen. We need to quit worrying about our weight and focus on the things that really matter!
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/217.
Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_Get_BARE_with_Susan_Hyatt_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT
Mon, 8 April 2019
The stuff that's burning to be created through you? It could be the key to your happiness, wellness, and life satisfaction. Listen in and get inspired to stop stopping yourself.
Wed, 3 April 2019
The mind-body connection is a hot topic today, but there is much more to this phenomenon than you probably realize. In today’s show, we are talking positive psychology, positive mindset, and positive movement. We’re diving deep into a new book written by a great friend!
Erin Stutland is a holistic wellness expert and cheerleader in my life. Her new book, Mantras in Motion, is the distillation of many years of work in helping people harness the physical, spiritual, and mental energy in service of what they want. Erin shares how to become more mindful and stay in the moment to cut off negative thinking. She’ll teach us some cool journaling exercises and motivational mantras to use while we move. Her book isn’t merely words on pages but can inject energy into your life!
You can find the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/215
Direct download: Her_Rules_Radio_-_Mantras_In_Motion_with_Erin_Stutland_-_Edited.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:00am EDT
Mon, 25 March 2019
It's spring and it's my birthday week! Get the scoop on how to quickly enter an amazing book give away!
Direct download: birthday_book_bribe.mp3
Category: -- posted at: 1:59pm EDT
Wed, 20 March 2019
We’re talking all things female health in today’s show as we take a deep dive with an incredible coach and educator. Join us as we discuss menstruation, birth control, fertility, period pain, hormones, inflammation, and more!
Lisa Hendrickson-Jack is a Certified Fertility Awareness Educator, Holistic Reproductive Health Practitioner, and author. Her new book is The Fifth Vital Sign: Master Your Cycles and Optimize Your Fertility. The book covers essential topics to help empower you to take control of your health, moods, energy, life, and fertility. We’re discussing how the world’s educational systems have failed to teach us about our fertility, our hormones, and the intricate symphony that is our female health. Lisa helps health-conscious women discover the connection between our menstrual cycles and our overall health so that we can do many things, including ditch our hormonal birth control forever. Lisa is a pure genius at this work, and I’m thrilled to have her on the show!
Mon, 4 March 2019
Revisiting the classic 80s book Energy Medicine, I'm reminded of the value of "mental rehearsal."
Olympic coaches and athletes use visualization and embodiment practices to bring intentions and goal setting to life.
Discover how creating and experiencing a vivid image of your desired outcomes can help you "feel the future."
Wed, 27 February 2019
Happy Menopause - is that really how we think of it? Let’s be real and say that menopause and its symptoms are NOT the things we look forward to! In honor of February, when we’re focusing on self-love and women’s pleasure, we are diving deep into all the aspects of menopause and learning that it really CAN be a happy (and healthy!) time for women.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/211.
Mon, 18 February 2019
We humans define ourselves and learn best through stories.
Story tellers are revered members of society, and your story is totally unique to you...
Stories help us evolve, change, and envision a bigger, different life.
It's time to reexamine and tell yours.
Get the free How To Write Your F*ck It List Guide here: www.herrulesradio.com/shop
Wed, 13 February 2019
We’re serving up some self-love for Valentine’s Day. It’s time to ask yourself what you really want and to listen to your body and soul. We are diving deep today into all things pleasure. Join us.
Xanet Pialet is a teacher, and author of the bestselling book, Living an Orgasmic Life. She’ll explain tantra and why this topic is so important. Pleasure and feeling good is an important topic for women, so we can create and have what we want. Xanet explains how she helps people get through all the rules we have about sex, sensuality, and pleasure. Through her private coaching practice, Xanet helps individuals and couples who struggle with desire, sexless marriages, and sexual abuse and trauma.
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/209
Wed, 30 January 2019
Essential oils---you hear about them everywhere! Whether you’re a skeptic, a novice, or an experienced EO user, today’s show is packed with useful and practical information that you don’t want to miss! As the child of a hippie mom in Oregon in the 70’s, you can imagine that essential oils were, and still are, a huge part of my life. I turn to them daily, keep them placed strategically around me, and take them with me everywhere!
Dr. Mariza Snyder joins me today as we discuss her new book, The Essential Oils Hormone Solution. She’s a return guest to the show, a good friend of mine, and she’s just a super fun and brilliant person to be around. She firmly believes that you can balance your hormones by using essential oils and self-care rituals. Her goal is to help people transform their lives and become the CEO of their own healthcare. In this episode, we discuss stress, energy fatigue, concentration, cravings, libido, anxiety, toxicity, and more. Join us for this jam-packed conversation, and get yourself a copy of her 7th book!
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/208
Wed, 16 January 2019
It’s a new year, and I, for one, am glad 2018 is over! We are changing up the format of the show, going from a weekly show format to doing two shows monthly with quality guests and conversations. I’m also spending more time and attention in my painting endeavors, which bring me much joy, pleasure, and healing. Through all my roles as artist, coach, and mentor, I’m working hard to always stay aligned with my values, so I hope the show continues to be an authentic outlet for me that brings great value to you, the listener.
Marsha Jones is from the Afiya Center in Texas. Their work is centered around the experience for black women, especially in services for reproductive health. The center is a voice to advocate against harmful policies and legislation that keep these women at risk. Maternal mortality is a huge issue all around the world, and specifically in Texas, where maternal mortality has doubled in recent years! The Afiya Center provides outreach, education, and care to aid these women who have been largely ignored and passed over on the legislative front. Is it medical murder when their pain is ignored and they aren’t given appropriate care?
You can read the full show notes at www.alexandrajamieson.com/207